Player name: shearernz
> Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a
three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are
entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far
failed to produce an agreement
>>>
>>>The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the
number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut
by 25% this February from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the
increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent
shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
>>>
>>>The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of
Occupational Martyrs ( or B.O.O.M. ) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action.
General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are
literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for
much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
>>>
>>>Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West
Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive
Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers concerns but
Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply
not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.
>>>
>>>Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of
virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure
and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to
tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
>>>
>>>Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland , Wales,Essex
and Australia
stated that the strike would not affect their operations as "There are
no virgins in their areas anyway".
>>>
>>>Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been
put down to the emergence of that Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now
that Muslims know what a virgin looks like that they are not so keen on going
to paradise.
Petty darn funny
...... Oh and obviously I wouldn't even consider supporting them anyway 