fake injurys

DeletedUser

you have relations with someone you thought was hot when you were drunk, you lose 200 testosterone points and become gay.
 

DeletedUser

one night, whilst drunk, you accidently walk into the white house, you think that you've just walked into a toilet, so you began to do your buisness. you get arrested.
 

DeletedUser

are are chosen to be a sacrifice to the great god IM-HO-TEP! and you are thrilled! until you see the knife that is. your heart gets ripped from your body and you die.
 

DeletedUser14280

You participate in a re-enactment of an Aztec sacrificial ritual, as the sacrifice.
  • On your first attempt of the re-enactment, the priest drops the knife, which falls on your chest and nicks you. You lose 13 health points.
  • On your second attempt, you're tied to the altar too tightly, and you twist your arm when you attempt to make yourself more comfortable. You lose 34 health points.
  • On your third attempt, you trip over on your way to the altar and skin your knees. You lose 26 health points.
After that, everyone takes a coffee break. You and one of the assistants don't care for coffee, so after a drink of water, you go back to rehearsing your bit.
  • The assistant starts expertly tying you down to the altar, but accidentally flicks you with one of the ends, leaving a red mark. You lose 5 health points.
  • Everyone comes back from their coffee break, ready for the fourth attempt, but an assistant slips on a wet spot on the floor and wobbles over. He loses 17 health points.
  • The fourth attempt is rehearsed, and is performed perfectly. You lose no health points.
  • The cameraman goes looking for the camera, to do the real take. While he's searching, you grow chilly in your thin costume. You lose 3 health points.
After finding the camera, the cameraman comes back and begins filming for the real take.
  • During the real take, one of the assistants pushes you down too hard, and you bang your head on the altar. You lose 30 health points.
  • During the second attempt at the real take, the re-enactment is performed perfectly. You lose no health points.
  • The cameraman finds that the memory card on his camera is corrupted, and goes to grab a new one. You lose 1 health point every time you bang your head against the wall.
  • The cameraman finds a new memory card, and films the third take, which goes perfectly again. You lose no health points.
While wrapping up, one of the assistants discovers that the knots tying you to the altar are impossible to undo, and the ropes are too thick to cut.
  • While tied to the altar and waiting to be released, the stone you're lying on gives you a backache. You lose 17 health points.
  • An assistant comes up with the idea of using coffee to wet your wrists and help you wriggle loose, but he drops the coffee mug on your hand. You lose 8 health points.
  • Someone turns off the heating, making an already chilly place even colder. You lose 11 health points.
  • The priest tries using his knife to cut you loose again, but slips and nicks your fingers. You lose 4 health points.
Eventually, everyone decides that they can't free you without help, and they all go look for help, after turning the heating back on and giving you the priest's robe as a pillow.
Mysteriously, they never come back. Must be a traffic accident in the way or something.
  • You spend the night tied spread-eagled to a stone altar. This isn't very restful, and you regain no health points.
In the morning, a group comes in through the door, but rather than being yours, it's a gang of teenagers looking for fun.
After seeing you tied down, they chatter for a while, then move towards you.
  • One of them removes your costume, leaving you naked, and uses part of it to gag you, causing you to choke. You lose 15 health points.
  • The same teenager uses the other part of your costume to blindfold you as well. The last thing you see is one of the others flicking a spare rope around like a whip...
Remember kids, don't participate in sacrificial rituals as the offering, even with friends!
 

DeletedUser

Celxius, you're sadistic.

You find yourself inside Celxius' thoughts. After several hours of playing with chibi cat-dragons, you realize that they have been stripping you of your flesh. Celxius accidentally spills some- er- coffee with cream on you. After everything is cleaned up, you lose 169 health points.
 

DeletedUser11019

you have a random spasm and repeatedly stab your self in the eye, while having intestinal gastritis fluctuations.

you die with a relieved smile on your face.
 

DeletedUser14280

Senokai said:
Celxius, you're sadistic.
Click to expand...
Hey, Tigermite started it.

With the same group, you attempt a re-enactment of a roman gladiator fight.
As you might suspect, it goes just as wrong as the Aztec ritual. You lose 290 health points.
 

DeletedUser

Celxius said:
With the same group, you attempt a re-enactment of a roman gladiator fight.
As you might suspect, it goes just as wrong as the Aztec ritual. You lose 290 health points.
Click to expand...

What do the teenagers do this time? And how could thy take advantage of you?

You live with Celxi- screw it, you shoot yourself.
 

DeletedUser14280

Senokai said:
What do the teenagers do this time? And how could thy take advantage of you?
Click to expand...
Me thinks you're focusing too much on what I wrote.

You carefully step around a banana peel, but accidentally step on a rake just off the path.
You lose 56 health points.
 

DeletedUser

As you finish your job, you notice that you forgot to queue up another one, leaving yourself no option but to sit around a camp fire and contemplate your naval. After much deliberation you realise that the endless cycle of working for material wealth and hunting for duel points has left you shallow and insignificant. This realisation causes -123 Damage to your inner being

*edit*

To the nublet that neg repped me with the word "fail" ...I only accept neg rep that contains whole sentences of criticism that make sense, sorry :p
 
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DeletedUser

you try to understand senokai's post.
you gain 100 confusion points and a headache.
 

DeletedUser

you spend several years in front of an illminated box, only rising to eat and sleep , stretch your back and micturate. This repeats .one day you ask." are we having fun yet?" Then you try to find out on the forum.
you lose the will, and many bucks playing premium.
 

DeletedUser

You watch a suspicious videotape which turns out to contain a bondage game between two forum mods. They later find out and force you to dig your own grave. You find piece of a note part 1 and uncover the secret to Hernandos sword only to be forced to give it away.
The evil mod laughs at you and you pass out.
 

DeletedUser

You tell the police about a major terrorist organization.

You lose two testicles.
 

DeletedUser11019

you find a certain brown nosier who is friends with a certain bad sheriff , who ganged up on a person and beat them half to death,,, you find this fellow, and bash his brains in with a simple rock.
no more foul mouth, woman set free, but your bound to a banning.
while the fool spits out his location and wonders why he has no striped on his lapels.

dont you just love Clint Eastwood?
 
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