DeletedUser
This is a thread where you can ask Santa Clause all of your questions.
DeletedUser
just in time for January. only 355 days left until Christmas, best be makin'n your list
DeletedUser14280
Nah, that's not it.
Santa's off duty now, he won't be back on until October, so he can answer questions about last year's christmas and toy trends and etcetera.
Dear Santa, are you an equal opportunities employer?
That is, as well as employing elves to make toys, do you employ dwarves, ogres and talking dogs? Do you pay your reindeer in money or food and board?
Santa's off duty now, he won't be back on until October, so he can answer questions about last year's christmas and toy trends and etcetera.
Dear Santa, are you an equal opportunities employer?
That is, as well as employing elves to make toys, do you employ dwarves, ogres and talking dogs? Do you pay your reindeer in money or food and board?
DeletedUser
Dear Santa
WHERE IS THE PORSCHE I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS
WHERE IS THE PORSCHE I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS
DeletedUser8627
Dear Celxius,
I'm glad you brought this up.
Amonst others, Snow White got the the dwarves before me, Shrek is not too good looking and we cannot scare the children now can we?
Talking dogs? Your parents must have been on some narcotic when having you.
My reindeer I have a special boarding plan for, as you know I stay at the north pole. I freeze my reindeer during the year and use them as couches for my guests. You see that there are more useful things than to jsut using them as a means of transport.
Regards,
Santa
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DeletedUser8627
Dear HeftySmurf,
Since when did smurfs drive vehicles?
Better yet, this year Ill give you a bigger and better ban hammer. One that is lighter and holds more valour.
Regards,
Santa
DeletedUser
Dear Santa,
Why did you get stuck in my chimney?
Yours truly,
DT
Why did you get stuck in my chimney?
Yours truly,
DT
DeletedUser8627
Dear Dark Terror,
Unfortunately I get fed milk and cookies by many people and only get exercise only once a year.
Regards,
Santa
Unfortunately I get fed milk and cookies by many people and only get exercise only once a year.
Regards,
Santa
DeletedUser
Dear Santa
you'll have to come in other way next year, because we covered the chimney so bats won't enter in the house any more
Find another way to enter
you'll have to come in other way next year, because we covered the chimney so bats won't enter in the house any more
Find another way to enter
DeletedUser
dear Santa
Do you now have to get screened by TSA like all of us?
Do you now have to get screened by TSA like all of us?
DeletedUser
Dear Santa,
Did you know you don't exist?
Love,
DT
Did you know you don't exist?
Love,
DT
DeletedUser8627
Dear fentom,
I'm not that way inclined. I don't come in from the backdoor.
Regards,
Santa
Dear Dark Terror,
So don't the tooth fairy but I bet you put your baby teeth in a shoe under the bed to get some money.
If the tooth fairy is your mom putting money in the shoe then I'm happy to inform you I'm your father.
Why else would they call me father Christmas?
Love,
Santa
Dear scurge of the west,
The transportation security administrator officer actually brings me to a story which I remember clearly.
His name was Elmyr, he still asked me how much stuff I could carry in my red bag and I looked into his eyes and said "This bag does not have an inventory limit". He took a bow and let me through.
Regards,
Santa
I'm not that way inclined. I don't come in from the backdoor.
Regards,
Santa
Dear Dark Terror,
So don't the tooth fairy but I bet you put your baby teeth in a shoe under the bed to get some money.
If the tooth fairy is your mom putting money in the shoe then I'm happy to inform you I'm your father.
Why else would they call me father Christmas?
Love,
Santa
Dear scurge of the west,
The transportation security administrator officer actually brings me to a story which I remember clearly.
His name was Elmyr, he still asked me how much stuff I could carry in my red bag and I looked into his eyes and said "This bag does not have an inventory limit". He took a bow and let me through.
Regards,
Santa
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DeletedUser
Dear Santa,
1. Tooth fairy doesn't exist either.
2. You triple-posted.
3. I also believe in inventory limits.
1. Tooth fairy doesn't exist either.
2. You triple-posted.
3. I also believe in inventory limits.
DeletedUser8627
Dear Santa,
1. Tooth fairy doesn't exist either.
2. You triple-posted.
3. I also believe in inventory limits.
Dear Dark Terror,
1. Apparenty I don't either yet you enjoy my presents each year.
2. Joys of posting from a cellphone.
3. I think we are the only two on this forum who does. Here, have some eggnog... Cheers.
Regards,
Santa
DeletedUser
Dear Santa,
1. I post from a Wii.
2. My parents gave me presents, same as on birthdays.
3. Thanks for the eggnog!
Ever yours,
DT
1. I post from a Wii.
2. My parents gave me presents, same as on birthdays.
3. Thanks for the eggnog!
Ever yours,
DT
DeletedUser
Dear Santa
Have you considered transferring your shop to a nuclear submarine now that the ice caps are melting, you could deliver toys on a Trident ICBM, it is a more efficient way of doing operations in the North Pole? how do you get raw materials at the North Pole without shipping them in ,that sounds like a logistical challenge, do you get your stuff shipped out of Siberia or the Canadian Yukon? Where do you get elves? What is the attrition rate of your elves to polar bear related incidents?
Have you considered transferring your shop to a nuclear submarine now that the ice caps are melting, you could deliver toys on a Trident ICBM, it is a more efficient way of doing operations in the North Pole? how do you get raw materials at the North Pole without shipping them in ,that sounds like a logistical challenge, do you get your stuff shipped out of Siberia or the Canadian Yukon? Where do you get elves? What is the attrition rate of your elves to polar bear related incidents?
DeletedUser
Santa's answer:
Well, first I must explain my business.
I am a CEO who delivers toys to the little boys and girls only because the Spirit of Christmas (Spoch, if you prefer) can be used as an energy source for the elves.
Oh, and to any little kids, this is just a joke. Santa Clause really just does it out of the bottom of his heart.
"Where is my Porsche?"
Little kids release much more Spoch. It is more cost efficient to deliver presents to only children, and not adults. But if you wish, you can gather your own Spoch and send it to me for a free Porsche.
Dark Terror, I am glad that you appreciate our business agreement.
Scurge of the West.... global warming is fake. In fact, the polar bears are thriving so well that they keep eating my workers.
The Tooth Fairy is a bandit elf who yanks out children's teeth to fashion into furniture, like the skulls in Bone Church.
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DeletedUser
know what is also fake? kids on the internet, there all cops, so you probably don't need to say you were kidding about Santa, the detectives know the truth about Santa
DeletedUser14280
Dear Santa's Stand In,
Do you share the information collected through your worldwide intelligence network with security agencies?
Do you share the information collected through your worldwide intelligence network with security agencies?
DeletedUser
Dear Celxius,
As it so happens to turn out, I am an elf. I'm Santa Clause (well, up in the North Pole Alliance (NPA) we call him Mister Kringle)'s secretary.
Anyways, there is no worldwide intelligence network. However, the NPA's government does have their own. We currently are at war with the Halloween Confederacy. The dang ghouls want to steal our Spoch.
(allusion to the "Nightmare Before Christmas")
As it so happens to turn out, I am an elf. I'm Santa Clause (well, up in the North Pole Alliance (NPA) we call him Mister Kringle)'s secretary.
Anyways, there is no worldwide intelligence network. However, the NPA's government does have their own. We currently are at war with the Halloween Confederacy. The dang ghouls want to steal our Spoch.
(allusion to the "Nightmare Before Christmas")