Dear Hellstromm

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DeletedUser

In the spirit of another thread about providing answers/help, I create this thread, where you may receive completely useless advice geared to ridicule you and/or otherwise point out your failings. Ask away...

(note: It must be presented in the form of, "Dear Hellstromm,")
 

DeletedUser

Dear Hellstromm.
Once in a while, only once in a while, I feel nauseated when I'm reading. I don't think it's my vision because my glasses are fine. I don't think it could be something I ate because it happens too randomly. Not anywhere close to just mealtimes. Do you know what might be the problem and could you please advise me on what to do about it?
 

DeletedUser

Betsy said:
Dear Hellstromm.
Once in a while, only once in a while, I feel nauseated when I'm reading. I don't think it's my vision because my glasses are fine. I don't think it could be something I ate because it happens too randomly. Not anywhere close to just mealtimes. Do you know what might be the problem and could you please advise me on what to do about it?
Click to expand...
Dear Betsy,

The problem isn't with your nausea, it's that you bother reading at all. Get off your ass and go watch a movie, that way you can get nauseated from eating overpriced popcorn.
 

DeletedUser

Dear Hellstromm,

This couple month, I am having problem going to bed on time. I wish to go to bed at 11PM or else In the morning, I do wake up 8Am and had had a bad headache. This days, I go to bed around 2 to 3 AM. Well, I know I am not a babysitter as most mod are(seriously that is babysitting) and why do I stay up so late? Could you please advise?
 

DeletedUser14280

Dear Hellstromm,
I like to eat apricots, but mandarines just came back into season, and I like them too.
Which fruit would you recommend scoffing down while watching a nice movie?
 

DeletedUser

Dear Hellstromm,

Three mirrors are arranged in the shape of an equilateral triangle, with their reflective surfaces pointing inwards. There is an infinitesimal gap at each vertex of the triangle through which a laser beam may pass.


Label the vertices A, B and C. There are 2 ways in which a laser beam may enter vertex C, bounce off 11 surfaces, then exit through the same vertex: one way is shown below; the other is the reverse of that.

p_201_laserbeam.gif


There are 80840 ways in which a laser beam may enter vertex C, bounce off 1000001 surfaces, then exit through the same vertex.


In how many ways can a laser beam enter at vertex C, bounce off 12017639147 surfaces, then exit through the same vertex?
 

DeletedUser

ir.ufis said:
Dear Hellstromm,

Three mirrors are arranged in the shape of an equilateral triangle, with their reflective surfaces pointing inwards. There is an infinitesimal gap at each vertex of the triangle through which a laser beam may pass.


Label the vertices A, B and C. There are 2 ways in which a laser beam may enter vertex C, bounce off 11 surfaces, then exit through the same vertex: one way is shown below; the other is the reverse of that.

p_201_laserbeam.gif


There are 80840 ways in which a laser beam may enter vertex C, bounce off 1000001 surfaces, then exit through the same vertex.


In how many ways can a laser beam enter at vertex C, bounce off 12017639147 surfaces, then exit through the same vertex?
Click to expand...



If I were Hellstromm (which im not) I would say something like "do your own homework"
 

DeletedUser

Dear Hellstromm,

Eastford and Westford are 260 miles away. One train left Westford heading for Eastford traveling 70 mph and another left Eastford for Westford traveling 60 mph. Is two hours enough time to warn them that they're going to collide and kill everyone on board?
 

DeletedUser

Elmyr said:
Dear Hellstromm,

Eastford and Westford are 260 miles away. One train left Westford heading for Eastford traveling 70 mph and another left Eastford for Westford traveling 60 mph. Is two hours enough time to warn them that they're going to collide and kill everyone on board?
Click to expand...

how much time do they need to stop the train upon receiving the message?
 

DeletedUser

Dear Hellstromm,

What colors are fashionable this spring?

Sincerely
andkamen.
 

DeletedUser

Dear Hellstromm,
How should I ask out a girl?
Voter of you in Meanest Moderator
 
nashy19

nashy19

Nashy (as himself)
Dear Hellstormm,
You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
 

DeletedUser

Dear Hellstormm,
why haven't you answered anyone, but betsy, yet?
are you two dating secretly?
 
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DeletedUser16628

Dear hellstromm,My trucks are all diesel it's 23 degrees outside why don't they start and how can I get them started asap?
 
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DeletedUser

Dear Hellstromm,

I got your contact through the Commercial Attaché of your Embassy during my last travel to Europe. Although my enquiry's was not recorded, I do hereby wish to commence talk with you on a highly confidential level.I am an Accountant and member of the "Tender Committee".

PURPOSE: On behalf of myself and my colleagues who are ministerial official and other officer in charge of offshore remittance in this Corporation. We are seeking your assistance for the transfer of Twenty Million Four Hundred Thousand U. S. Dollars (US$20,400,000.00) to your account for further private investment purpose. Hence our request for your assistance.

SOURCE OF FUND: This amount to be transferred into your account accurred from over-invoiced contract amount for the construction of Oil Refinery,Sub-Station in Nigeria (Northern Region) in 1999 to expatriate companies.

REQUIREMENTS: What we expect from you by E-mail during reply are:
(a) Your name and contact address, your phone and fax numbers for easy communication.
(b) The name of your bank, phone and fax number
(c) Your bank account number where the money will be lodged.

DISBURSEMENT: We have resolved that you take 30% of the total amount for your assistance because it is impossible for us to claim the over-invoiced amount here in Nigeria without your assistance. In addition,10% has been mapped out for any miscellaneous expenses incurred by you and us during this business, and 60% for my colleagues and myself. It might surprised you why we chose and trusted you for this transaction.

Yes, we believe that good friends can be discovered and business like this cannot be realized without trust. This is why we have decided to trust you for this interest and security had been considered before you were contacted, so berest assured and feel free to go into this transaction with us, but let honesty and trust be our watchword throughout this transaction and your prompt reply will be appreciated.

Henceforth, ensure that all your future correspondence with me is made through my E-mail address to ensure the confidence and safety. Note that the items A,B,C as stated in my proposal is very important as soon as that is given to us within 14 working days, the fund will be transferred into your account.As all arrengement has been concluded and I can be contacted on phone number 555-SCAM for more briefting. You can reply to scamman@nigeriacentral.com.

Yours Truly.
 

DeletedUser

Dear Hellstromm,

I got this crazy telegram , could you please explain to me what the hell it means?


Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
 

DeletedUser20647

Dear Hellstromm,

Why is there a drunk chinese man doing push ups on my front lawn?

Thanks in advance,
GaGa
 
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