Church of The Onion

[Diggo11]

I haven't eaten a raw onion today, but I ate some cheese & onion crisps (or chips to my American brothers). My brothers, is that sacrilege? Is the teaching of the Onion dilated by cheese and potato crisps?

Although the raw layers of the Onion's earthly counterparts are blessings to one's taste buds, the Onion does not demand they be enjoyed alone. As the wise St Elmyr hath preached:

Remember: onion is good, but French onion soup is nothing without croutons and Gruyère.

 

[DeletedUser]

Thank you, my day has been forfilled. Tonight I shall feast on raw Onion in celebration of my new faith, and tomorrow I shall feast with many many onions, some raw, some in sandwiches, and some in crisps. The Onion shall be in my heart, soul, mind and belly.

 

[DeletedUser8950]

Thank you, my day has been forfilled. Tonight I shall feast on raw Onion in celebration of my new faith, and tomorrow I shall feast with many many onions, some raw, some in sandwiches, and some in crisps. The Onion shall be in my heart, soul, mind and belly.

It touches me to see the Onions layers reach people so.

 

[DeletedUser35174]

Father Spam shall rule all. Begone onion BEGONE.

 

[Diggo11]

It touches me to see the Onions layers reach people so.

Your namesake EM would indeed be most joyous.

 

[DeletedUser]

Father Spam shall rule all. Begone onion BEGONE.

Sit down brother, feast on Onion with us, and you too shall see it's light.

 

[DeletedUser35174]

NEVEEEEER. Father spam shall destroy your onion.

Praise thee lord spam.

 

[DeletedUser]

Onion will always prevail over Spam. Spam only has a temporary following, for soon it's 'followers' grow sick of it's taste and turn to the almighty Onion.

 

[DeletedUser8950]

Precisely, brother tigermite. The Onion need not discredit them, for they do so themselves with their baseless philosophy. Only the Onion can provide true enlightenment and a delicious meal. Have you ever tasted spam before?

 

[DeletedUser]

Spam can easily be defeated with DNFTT. Or you could feed them onions.

 

[Apelatia]

... heresy I say

Master jonduan and I seem to think the same on this matter... I say this is some evil trick that Elmyr has come up with!

 

[DeletedUser8950]

The Onion is no trick of Elmyr, though he is one of the first and most loyal followers of the richly-layered path the onion offers.

btw that's Saint Elmyr to ye, heathen!

 

[DeletedUser35174]

Brother Apelatia speaks the truth.

And no follower of the onion is a saint to us.

 

[DeletedUser]

You know you sound a lot like christians?

 

[Apelatia]

What is an "onion" compared to the vastness of the SPAM?

 

[DeletedUser35174]

Preach to them Brother preach to them.

 

[DeletedUser8950]

The Onion's many layers contain far more depth and flavour then any plastic slice of spam. If meat comes from a tin, you knows it's not going to be edible.

 

[nashy19]

The onions properties have been mentioned in many ancient Greek and Hindu texts.

Shivaji, the fearsome Maratha warrior who took on the might of the Mughals, was reputed to eat a lean diet of unleavened bread with raw onions, as opposed to the effete Mughals, who gorged on twice-cooked onion dishes.

 

[DeletedUser]

Ugh...I think I may have eaten one too many onions last night brothers...

 

[DeletedUser]

All the mightiness of the onion won't cure my hangover. So yeah there is a flaw in your utopia.