Sex Offenders (split thread)

[DeletedUser]

Prison is like college for criminals. You go in a bad one, come out a better one. You learn how everybody else got caught, what they did, make new contacts, etc.
Even for those that sincerely want to turn over a new leaf it's next to impossible. First, you'll always be an ex-con, and thus you'll have trouble getting and maintaining a job, and if they're lucky enough to get a job, it'll be at the bottom of the barrel where they'll be stuck for the rest of their lives. You also have sex offenders who are forced to be put on a list that makes no distinction between consensual sex between two teenagers and rape of an infant. They're the only group that is essentially still in prison, since they're being monitored all the time. Then some worried housewife goes on and sees there's a sex offender living in the town and the next day the person is bombarded with hate, and ends up having to move.

So you wouldnt mind if a sex offender lives next to you and your children(assume you have some if you dont). If you are concerned about your children you would mind. I check my area weekly as well as my sons fathers home. With most the ways you can check you can see how severe the crime they comitted was and all the details.

My sister dated a man who I found out was on the sex offender list. He was on there b/c he had at 20 had sex with a 16 or 17 yr old. I let my nieces dad know who their daughter was around. He apparently thinks like I do b/c he said get rid of the guy or hed take my niece.

Personally I wouldnt harass a person on the sex offender list, but Id want to move or at least let the other parents in my area know. If he/she gets harrassed, well he/she should have thought about what would happen if he/she did X,Y,Z and what ages him and his gf are. Normally I live within a mile of either a school or a park, and most cant live within a couple miles of those two places. If I found one was, Id likely go public with the info b/c they are breaking the law anyway by living there.

 

[DeletedUser]

My sister dated a man who I found out was on the sex offender list. He was on there b/c he had at 20 had sex with a 16 or 17 yr old. I let my nieces dad know who their daughter was around. He apparently thinks like I do b/c he said get rid of the guy or hed take my niece.

See, it's this sort of paranoia that I'm not even remotely okay with. The guy was 3, maybe 4 years older than the person he had sex with, and thus he was marked as a sex offender. Worse, your response was to treat him like a monster. That's just crap.

Personally I wouldnt harass a person on the sex offender list, but Id want to move or at least let the other parents in my area know.

You should probably get away from all your relatives then, because the vast majority of sex offenses are committed by relatives. In fact, only about 7% of convicted sex offenders are repeat offenders. A far lower number than most other crimes.

If he/she gets harrassed, well he/she should have thought about what would happen if he/she did X,Y,Z and what ages him and his gf are.

So, your logic is, they committed a crime, or were inclined to plead guilty for whatever reason (including district attorney misconduct), served their time in prison, and now are released to the general public to be harassed, beaten, even killed because they deserve it?


(( moved to a thread of it's own ))

 

[DeletedUser]

If he/she gets harrassed, well he/she should have thought about what would happen if he/she did X,Y,Z and what ages him and his gf are.

Not all registered offenders really did anything that bad, but they still pay long after they've served their time. I can see why parents would be concerned about learning that they lived near a registered offender, but I know that not all are any risk.

I know one guy who was kissed by a girl (he didn't initiate it or encourage it), but because she was 2 months too young, he has to register for life. The law says that he was older, and it was his responsiblity to keep her from getting that close. He was giving her a ride home from a party because her boyfriend got mad at her for flirting with other guys, and she admitted to the police that she was the one who kissed him but her mother insisted on pressing charges anyway. The next day she was out drinking with a couple of other guys, and within 2 months was put into a foster home because her mother was so neglectful. Nothing ever happened to the mother for allowing her to be out drinking at that age, or to those who supplied her with alcohol, but the one who brought her home is paying for the rest of his life for it.

I also know of some who were teenagers and with their girlfriends, but the age difference was 6 mo. - a year too much and they also have to register. Unfortunately, as Variorum stated, you don't get that information about them - only that they're registered offenders. None of the guys I mentioned had to spend any time in jail, and none is considered a predator, but they still have to register because of the ages.

That said, if I had young kids, I'd probably feel the same way if I learned that a neighbor was an offender. There are many who shouldn't be on the lists, but I'm sure they are a small minority.

Sorry, Hellstromm, I'll drop the subject too.

 

[DeletedUser]

s'okay, i moved the posts to a thread of its own.

 

[DeletedUser]

Paranoia certainly fits the bill when talking about "sex offenders". The term, and any list of sex offenders, makes no distinction between people convicted for consenting acts and multiple rapists of paedophiles. It's like having a "violent crime offender" list and treating everyone the same regardless of whether they were in a bar brawl once or they've maim, mutilated and killed many times.

Certainly over here there's a knee jerk reaction to anything related to sex crimes. There was a case in South Wales about 10 years ago where a paediatrician was attacked because locals had heard that he'd move into the area and had been confused over the word.

 

[DeletedUser]

AngelicDevil, your entire post offends me so deeply, I'm not sure I can properly discuss or debate it.

My sister dated a man who I found out was on the sex offender list. He was on there b/c he had at 20 had sex with a 16 or 17 yr old. I let my nieces dad know who their daughter was around. He apparently thinks like I do b/c he said get rid of the guy or hed take my niece.

The age of consent needs to change where you live, obviously. In many places in the world, the age of sexual consent is 16. In many states it's 18. And in Mississippi, I found out, the age of marital consent is 21 (17 for males, 15 for females, with parental consent.) In Canada, it is always an offense to have sex with a child who is under the age of 14. In fact, it is an offense to touch a person under the age of 14 "for a sexual purpose". In Canada, the age of consent is 16, but the the law includes a "close-in-age'' provision of five years, which means it would be legal for a 15-year-old to have relations with a 19-year-old provided the relationship is not exploitative and the older party is not in a position of authority or trust.

That man you "informed" your niece's dad about SHOULD NOT BE ON AN OFFENDERS LIST. At 20, he had sex with a 17 year old. How is it possible for you to extrapolate from that that he would then be inclined to have sex with a 10 year old when he's 30? That makes no sense whatsoever.

I check my area weekly as well as my sons fathers home. With most the ways you can check you can see how severe the crime they comitted was and all the details.

So, the "severe" crime the man committed was having sex with a girl 3 years younger than him?

Personally I wouldnt harass a person on the sex offender list,

Personally, in my opinion, that's what you did when you interfered with the man your sister was dating.




"Kids are cute when they are ignorant and unaware. Grown ups, not so much." hmmm...exactly!

 

[DeletedUser]

See, it's this sort of paranoia that I'm not even remotely okay with. The guy was 3, maybe 4 years older than the person he had sex with, and thus he was marked as a sex offender. Worse, your response was to treat him like a monster. That's just crap. (( edited for brevity ))

Eh, he ended up hitting my niece anyway, but his buddies were all on the sex offender list as well. Yes I am going to treat him like he did something wrong. He did!

My family=my two children and I...I dont see the rest of them much..my mom often b/c I live near her, but I know for a fact shes not going to harm my children or any child.


I dont care what happens. If they live where they shouldnt, I will open my mouth if I feel my children or other children will be harmed. I think the parents have a right to know if their child is in danger. If Im not living near a school or park and have one move in, Ill move or at least watch my kids more(which is hard b/c I am very over protevictive. Id hate for them to endure abuse as well), but I wouldnt make a HUGE deal outside of telling everyone in the area with kids, b/c isnt it against the law to harass the sex offenders when they are living in an area they are allowed to?

Im sorry, but my children and their health, welfare and happiness are MY responsiblities until they are of age. I WILL protect them from those who prey on children. I will do ANYTHING to keep my offspring safe! Including bringing it to public attention if sex offenders live where they should NOT be living!

Not all registered offenders really did anything that bad, but they still pay long after they've served their time. I can see why parents would be concerned about learning that they lived near a registered offender, but I know that not all are any risk. (( edited for brevity ))

No, you do get the info and why he/she is on the sex offender list, at least in the US.

No matter WHY they are on it, they by law cant live within a radius of a school or park. I ALWAYS live within a mile of a park or school. Therefore no sex offender should live within a mile of me pretty much.

I understand that there are folks who date their g/f or b/fs after they turn 18 and the partner is under age. First, a parent needs to press charges for stat. rape OR have a school offical tell the police in order for a charge. In HS a few gals dated men over 18, the ones from 18-20 usually never got charged with rape and therefore didnt have to spend time in jailo or register on the list. The ones 21 and over dating and sleeping with those 17 and under usually ended up with a stat. rape charge and are registered sex offenders.

I guess the thinking on that is that by 21 you should be dating those closer to your age, IDK. I dont date younger people and Ive never dated older people so I may not get where you guys are coming from, sorry.

For the ones who are registered for touching or hurting children are the lowest of the low, HOWEVER, I can NOT imagine letting my children near anyone registered on the sex offender list!

We will never agree on this, though. I do respect where you and Hellstrom are coming from, but as a mother, I will not ever agree.

Sorry to hear it Betsy. As one whos been abused and have children, I have a reason I feel as I do about who I do. For the sake of my children, no one who is on a sex offender list will be near my children. I dont care WHY they are on it.

Im a grown up and can read and understand and respect where you all are coming from and thats fine. I was stating my own opinion too. I can handle no one agrees with me. I am sorry you are offended, but I will not and can not change what I think.

AngelicDevil, your entire post offends me so deeply, I'm not sure I can properly discuss or debate it. (( edited for brevity ))

In MI I think age is 16 or 17. If its ok for him to sleep with a 17 yr old when hes 20, why is he on the sex offender list? Hmm...

I care more about my niece then I do about who my sister is dating. In the end, she thanked me for calling her ex and having him step in b/c my sister and niece were being abused anyway by him. However, shes married to a nice man never convicted of any sex offense.

And just a question to those who think my thinking is so wrong, do you yourselves have children? Would you honestly think its ok to have anyone on the sex offender list around your children?

 

[DeletedUser]

I truly doubt yoga courses have anything to do with therapy for sex offenders. In fact, there's no indication of that in the links provided, so I'm thinking that line of reasoning serves merely to derail the ongoing debate.

Last I knew, there really was no way to help a sex preditor(not the ones who have sex with their underage partners, but the ones who harm children). Even casteration isnt a sure fire way to make sure they dont harm more children.

So most likely it was a way to derail I agree.

 

[DeletedUser]

My children are adults now. When they were young, I never had them alone with anyone outside the family, and seldom around family without me. I have no idea if there were any offenders living near me or not, but my kids were taught at a young age what to do under different circumstances. Sometimes they may have been a bit too paranoid, but they were safe without me causing trouble for anyone else.

Two examples that come to mind are: my younger son refused to sit on Santa's lap in department stores, etc. because he "didn't know that man." My older son came running home from the park across the street (when he was about 7) because a car he didn't recognize stopped on the street and someone called his name from it. He didn't know that my parents had gotten a new car, and he didn't hang around long enough to see who it was.

Since you can't be with your kids at all times, and not all offenders are registered (some just haven't been caught yet), I think it's more important to teach kids how to best protect themselves than it is to make possible offenders homeless, jobless and angry; even if they were guilty, they're easier to keep track of when they have homes than when they're stuck living on the streets.

No matter how much you try to protect them, bad things sometimes happen to kids. I think the best you can do is make sure they're well supervised until they can handle things fairly well on their own, and have a good enough relationship with them to allow them to feel comfortable letting you know if anything ever does happen.

 

[DeletedUser]

My children are adults now. When they were young, I never had them alone with anyone outside the family, and seldom around family without me. I have no idea if there were any offenders living near me or not, but my kids were taught at a young age what to do under different circumstances. Sometimes they may have been a bit too paranoid, but they were safe without me causing trouble for anyone else.

Two examples that come to mind are: my younger son refused to sit on Santa's lap in department stores, etc. because he "didn't know that man." My older son came running home from the park across the street (when he was about 7) because a car he didn't recognize stopped on the street and someone called his name from it. He didn't know that my parents had gotten a new car, and he didn't hang around long enough to see who it was.

Since you can't be with your kids at all times, and not all offenders are registered (some just haven't been caught yet), I think it's more important to teach kids how to best protect themselves than it is to make possible offenders homeless, jobless and angry; even if they were guilty, they're easier to keep track of when they have homes than when they're stuck living on the streets.

No matter how much you try to protect them, bad things sometimes happen to kids. I think the best you can do is make sure they're well supervised until they can handle things fairly well on their own, and have a good enough relationship with them to allow them to feel comfortable letting you know if anything ever does happen.

My older child is 9. I dont like him away from me. But he is allowed to go to the park with his friends. At his fathers, I have no control what happens there and what he is allowed to do. I have faith that he would tell his father and I if anyone touched him. However I cant imagine allowing him to be around those who are on the list as well as those who have various other criminal offenses against them.

My younger child is 3. He is never unsupervised. At his dads hes not and here at my home he is not. He does not go around people who are on the offender list.

Maybe its b/c this touches so deep with me on a personal level that I have the thinkings I do. I just think as parents, the main goals one has is to raise children safely, make sure they arent messed up as adults and dont hurt others. I cant allow anyone to harm my kids or even let that danger be there. I dont expect my ex to allow that either.

Im sorry Ive offended anyone here, really I am. But like Ive said, I feel the way I do b/c I do, I can not nor will I ever be able to change it while I have young children.

Good day.

 

[DeletedUser]

No, you do get the info and why he/she is on the sex offender list, at least in the US.

You are flat out wrong. Every state is different. Maine (the state I live in) only lists that a person is on the list, not why. More states than not are like that. Maine also recently had someone come from Canada and kill two sex offenders using the registry as a guide to their home.

This thread is full of ridiculous "stories". The guy that had to register as a sex offender for life because he was kissed by someone? Come on, either he had a terrible lawyer or he is a moron.

The pedioatrition that was "attacked" was a she not a he and she had the windows of her house spray painted.

Hysteria cuts both ways.

 

[DeletedUser]

My children are grown and married now and I have grandchildren. It is my sons duty to protect his kids as I protected him and his sister but that is by teaching them how to behave not by creating panic in the neighbourhood.
If you find a "sex offender" is in your area then protect your kids by teaching them safe behaviour, teach other kids by suggesting to your school they have Child safety discussions with the kids, ask the local authorities to move him to another area, whatever you like. Just don`t preach that all sex offenders should be publicised and ostracised. The statistics suggest there is one in your family somewhere so are you going to out your father or your favourite uncle ?

I have known a peadophile since I was a child, he was a friend of the family and I was protected by my mother who taught me well. My kids have met him twice but never without me present and they would never realise his real problem, to them he was just "a little strange". The people who knew him well knew his problem and took precautions quietly and to my knowledge he was never inappropriate with any of the family or friends.

He was potentially a worse danger than some 20 yr old kid who sleeps with a 17 yr old but you place them all in the same bucket and throw them to the wolves. Why not try exercising your responsibility to teach your kids the dangers in the world in a non-combative way and maybe they wont grow up to be small minded bigots who confuse teenage lust with child molestation.

Pitchforks and torches are so passe these days.



Apologies to those I offend but I have strong feelings about this subject too, just not the same as O.P.

 

[DeletedUser]

I will not and can not change what I think.

That's not true. I know it's not easy, but if you can just overcome the paranoia, then you'll be able to see sense.

 

[DeletedUser]

You are flat out wrong. Every state is different. Maine (the state I live in) only lists that a person is on the list, not why. More states than not are like that. Maine also recently had someone come from Canada and kill two sex offenders using the registry as a guide to their home.

This thread is full of ridiculous "stories". The guy that had to register as a sex offender for life because he was kissed by someone? Come on, either he had a terrible lawyer or he is a moron.

The pedioatrition that was "attacked" was a she not a he and she had the windows of her house spray painted.

Hysteria cuts both ways.

This is NOT where I live, but look at this:
http://www.familywatchdog.us/ShowMap.asp?frm=0
http://www.familywatchdog.us/ShowMap.asp?frm=0
http://www.familywatchdog.us/ShowMap.asp?frm=0

Yes, even in Maine they do show what they are convicted under...Look under link 3.
(edited: it cut mylinks, but click on one and go to the watchdog sex offender list, its the national registary, but its still color coded for all US states, including Maine. Under each color you click on it pulls up the pic of the offender and under convictions tab it tells what they did.)


It has a key which is color coded to which crimes one has been found guilty of.

Click on any color on the map and it tells details.

I clicked on a red color and I got this, its under the tab convictions "18-1506 - SEXUAL ABUSE OF A CHILD UNDER 16 YRS OF AGE"
Id say I know what crime he committed and who his target range is.

On yet another
"18-1506 - SEX ABUSE OF CHLD U/16 YRS"

Another
"18-1506 - STAT SEX SEDUCT"

If you really want to know, the locl police can tell you what all the codes mean as well as looking it up online.

That's not true. I know it's not easy, but if you can just overcome the paranoia, then you'll be able to see sense.

LOL, ok then I will not change while I have young children. Sorry.

There are other debates that I will never change my mind about, not just this lol

My children are grown and married now and I have grandchildren. It is my sons duty to protect his kids as I protected him and his sister but that is by teaching them how to behave not by creating panic in the neighbourhood. (( edited for brevity ))

I have stated already in the first or second post, that I know its illegal to harass a sex offender. If he/she moves in within a range BY LAW they cant be living in, I will bring it to attention of the parents and the police. Ive done that before.

As about my sisters ex, I was protecting my niece and her father had a right to know what his child was around. I would expect someone to let my sons dad know the same if I was dating a sex offender(which Id never do). Apparently only me, my nieces father, my brother, my mom and my sons dad care enough to make sure kids arent around those who are on the list.

By telling other parents in my neighborhood that a sex offender has moved in, how is that different then the national sex offender list? Its PUBLIC information! I would NEVER go over to sex offenders home and harass them b/c that IS illegal. Thats never my intention when I do inform neighbors, I want them to have the same info I do so all our children are SAFE.

Familywatchdog.us is the site that lists for the US(all states including Maine, and does tell what they have done to end up on the list, and its even color coded to make it easier)

Youre welcome.

 

[DeletedUser]

Castration is cruel and unusual punishment.

I consider the fire squad, electrocution (provided its done right), and hanging to be fair (for executions) and a prison that isn't cushy (the prisoner comes out healthy, but there are no luxuries) fair, but castration?

 

[DeletedUser]

I love kids.

I also drive a van with tilted windows.

You draw your own conclusions.

 

[DeletedUser]

I dont date younger people and Ive never dated older people so I may not get where you guys are coming from, sorry.

Do you just not date or do you make a point of ensuring that your prospective partners are exactly the same age? Must really narrow down the options.

And just a question to those who think my thinking is so wrong, do you yourselves have children? Would you honestly think its ok to have anyone on the sex offender list around your children?

Yes, I do. Would it be ok? Well, that would depend on why they're on the sex offender list really. If a guy, as an 18 year old, had had sex with his girlfriend who was, at the time, under age but consenting then doesn't turn him into some kind of sexual predator who's out to abduct any children he can get.

This is what people are trying to point out in here - the list holds a multitude of sins, some huge and some really quite minor. You're tarring, and feathering, everyone with the same brush.

 

[DeletedUser]

Do you just not date or do you make a point of ensuring that your prospective partners are exactly the same age? Must really narrow down the options.



Yes, I do. Would it be ok? Well, that would depend on why they're on the sex offender list really. If a guy, as an 18 year old, had had sex with his girlfriend who was, at the time, under age but consenting then doesn't turn him into some kind of sexual predator who's out to abduct any children he can get.

This is what people are trying to point out in here - the list holds a multitude of sins, some huge and some really quite minor. You're tarring, and feathering, everyone with the same brush.

I am currently dating. Ive only dated people my own age give or take a year. I dont look for only people that age, it just happens that way.

I know what they are pointing out. Ive pointed out I dont want those on the sex offender list near my family. Why is my choice so bad?

I understand all reasons someone may be on the sex offender list. I just dont want any part of having relationships including simple friendships with those who have been convicted of sexual offenses.

To ME a sex offender is a sex offender. I am done talking about it though. I wont change my views and neither will those who have disagreed with me. I started to state my original views and have no need to really.

Im tempted to throw up a few other heated debate topics, just to see if Im in the minority on my opinions there too lol

 

[DeletedUser]

Castration is cruel and unusual punishment.

I consider the fire squad, electrocution (provided its done right), and hanging to be fair (for executions) and a prison that isn't cushy (the prisoner comes out healthy, but there are no luxuries) fair, but castration?

LOL you can make a thread having to do with prisioners rights and I may comment on it there.

I was merely commenting that some places have tried casteration and its not a 100% sure fire way to make sure that one person doesnt harm children anymore. I do think in the US cases, the ones who are subject to casteration has volunteered to go through with the procedures on a trial basis.

 

[DeletedUser]

Im tempted to throw up a few other heated debate topics, just to see if Im in the minority on my opinions there too lol

Do it.
We need some more interresting debates here.