DeletedUser8950
That is a onionacle. No miracle is that suprising.
Bless thou crusader, David Shocfield.
Bless thou crusader, David Shocfield.
DeletedUser14280
And now for something completely different...
My brother keeps a pet onion (true).
He probably couldn't give a [blasphemy] about the church, though.
My brother keeps a pet onion (true).
He probably couldn't give a [blasphemy] about the church, though.
DeletedUser
Then he doesn't understand the principles.
No seeing man can ignore the light of the Onions wisdom.
No seeing man can ignore the light of the Onions wisdom.
DeletedUser
He cares for an onion, but not the truth, light, and infinite layers of wisdom embodied in the Onion. Eating his onion would bring him closer to the truth though.
Diggo11
Well-Known Member
Well I do believe scripture says:
"Do unto onions as you would have The Onion do unto you" ~ John Rose 4:17
Although he still walks in the darkness it is because no-one has yet attempted to show him the light, perhaps if he got a chance his grace could show him the way?
"Do unto onions as you would have The Onion do unto you" ~ John Rose 4:17
Although he still walks in the darkness it is because no-one has yet attempted to show him the light, perhaps if he got a chance his grace could show him the way?
DeletedUser8950
Is there any other prophets then John Rose?
DeletedUser
Onion????
DeletedUser
DeletedUser14280
I presume The Onion News Network isn't affilated with this church?
Just so you know, I expect that if I told my brother about the church of the Onion, he'd likely regard it as a joke.
Just so you know, I expect that if I told my brother about the church of the Onion, he'd likely regard it as a joke.
Diggo11
Well-Known Member
Perhaps, but I'm guessing his love for his Onion redeems him from his sins.
DeletedUser
Whilst that is a beautiful metaphore, there is no such thing as sin the faith of the Onion. Sin being a term used to control the populance, and strongly encourage behavioral patterns. Often accompanied by the promise of the divine carrot or stick.
Onion preaches no such empty promises.
Instead The Onion can offer you a rich life, an enjoyable life.
Through his guidance thou shalt find happiness, wisdom, and health.
His layers hold infinit wisdom, and he divine light maketh the blind seeing, and the ignorant wise.
DeletedUser8950
Onion>Religion
As Celxius said:
As Celxius said:
DeletedUser
In no way associated.
Heck, I didn't even know it existet when this was started way back when.
Heck, I didn't even know it existet when this was started way back when.
DeletedUser8950
Lol. Ok then.
What does the Onion do with it's enemies?
What does the Onion do with it's enemies?
DeletedUser
The Onion doesn't have enemies.
Only the wicked and ignorant claim to be an enemy of the Onion.
Onion, the embiment of free will, freedom, and wisdom.
DeletedUser14280
Yea, all shall hail the Onion...
...
BECAUSE, it's the most useful vegatable in cooking!
Make a stirfry and watch the onion go brown!
Serve it in soup, burgers, you name it!
You know what? Forget the church, and all it's benevolent teachings.
I'll just have the onion.
...
BECAUSE, it's the most useful vegatable in cooking!
Make a stirfry and watch the onion go brown!
Serve it in soup, burgers, you name it!
You know what? Forget the church, and all it's benevolent teachings.
I'll just have the onion.
DeletedUser
"Benevolent teachings without onions are in peril; but onions without benevolent teachings are always in vain"- is that so?
DeletedUser
The onion has no enemies what a lie! Prepare to face the hordes of Burger Kings Deep Fryers and Breading Machines! MWAHAHAHAHA!