Chuck norris facts

master warrior

Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Chuck Norris wanted his nickname back.
If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul.
Chuck Norris actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.

James the Hunter

Do you want a list of Chuck Norris' enimies? Look at the extinct species list.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only likes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.


When Chuck Norris jumps into the water, chuck norris doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norris

David Schofield

Bruce Lee once said: OH NOES! ITS CHUCK NORRIS! WAHHHH! then he was never seen again...


Chuck Norris refuses to play The West until they implement Round House Kicks to the face!

James the Hunter

Bruce Lee was Chuck Norris' master and is so far, the only one who has defeated him. Proof is by watching Bruce Lee's movie,"Return of the Dragon"
Anyway, Bruce Lee IS the greatest martial artist who has ever lived. Chuck Norris IS the greatest student of Bruce Lee and if Bruce Lee was still alive, they'd be out destroying terrorism and kicking the governments ASS!!!! ><

Well I found these ones:
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.


Bruce Lee once said: OH NOES! ITS CHUCK NORRIS! WAHHHH! then he was never seen again...

This reminds me of a joke my son tells.

What was Bruce Lee's favorite drink?

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTER! (gotta make your hands like you are ready to chop somebody when giving the answer)