Chuck norris facts

serpent4327

1.If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2.There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3.Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4.Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
5.Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6.Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7.Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8.Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
9.Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
10.When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
11.A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
12.When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
13.Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
14.How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
15.Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
16.For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
17.Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
18.Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
19.Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
20.
Chuck Norris counted to Infinity, twice.
If you have any more epic Chuck Norris facts POST THEM!!
:wackog:CHUCK NORRIS IS THE MAN!!!!!!!!:wackog:
 

spudly88

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerkey
Some kids wear superman pajamas, superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
 

Elrik

How about this:

Chuck Norris made the pi decimals come to an end.

The only time you don't have to phrase your answer as "What/Who is..." in Jeopardy is when the answer is Chuck Norris.

Most physics professors agree that Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat it too.

Chuck Norris is the reason why gorillas have such flat noses.
 
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Krondore

Chuck norris was a pupil of Bruce Lee

The Real Deal (Bruce Lee)
Bruce Lee
Lee's phenomenal fitness meant he was capable of performing many exceptional physical feats.

The following list includes some of the physical feats that are documented and supported by reliable sources.

Lee's striking speed from three feet with his hands down by his side reached five hundredths of a second.
(20 Punches per second )

Lee's combat movements were at times too fast to be captured on film at 24 frames per second, so many scenes were shot in 32fps to put Lee in slow motion. Normally martial arts films are sped up.

In a speed demonstration, Lee could snatch a dime off a person's open palm before they could close it, and leave a penny behind.

Lee could perform push ups using only his thumbs
Lee would hold an elevated v-sit position for 30 minutes or longer.
Lee could throw grains of rice up into the air and then catch them in mid-flight using chopsticks.
Lee performed one-hand push-ups using only the thumb and index finger
Lee performed 50 reps of one-arm chin-ups.
Lee could break wooden boards 6 inches (15 cm) thick.
Lee could cause a 300-lb (136 kg) bag to fly towards and thump the ceiling with a side kick.
Lee performed a side kick while training with James Coburn and broke a 150-lb (68 kg) punching bag
In a move that has been dubbed "Dragon Flag", Lee could perform leg lifts with only his shoulder blades resting on the edge of a bench and suspend his legs and torso perfectly horizontal midair.
 
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Deja Vu

Outer space only exist because it is afraid to be in the same planet as chuck norris
 

Roadmap to sexyness

Chuck norris is sueing ABC for the name of the show "Law and Order" Which is what he calls his right and left leg.
 

Cutter Slicar

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because he's afraid of that dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube and poop it out solved.

People wanna be like ninjas, ninjas wanna be like Chuck Norris.
 

eliel007

Chuck Norris is sueing MySpace fof taking the name what he calls ,, Everything around me''.
 

James the Hunter

When Chuck Norris was born, the only one who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
 

Wasicu Witco

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, as hunting implies a little bit of chance. Chuck Norris goes killing.
 

caveman8fb

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.
 
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