DeletedUser
Nonbelievers, agnostics, pirates, and fellow pastafarians, I am proud to present to you the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Do not let that false prophet-the onion-misguide you. Our god, the noodliest of them all, is the one true one. May you be touched by his noodly appendage! Spread the word so that all the world (or at least the west) can be enlightened. RAmen.
About Us:
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, while having existed in secrecy for hundreds of years, only recently came into the mainstream when a letter to the Kansas School Board was published in May 2005.
With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents - mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger, um, parts, than theirs.
Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.
Additional Information:
I. The Eight I'd-Really-Rather-You-Didn'ts (or Condiments):
“As a scientist, I’d like to say that the currently accepted scientific theory is evolution. But, some competing ideas have been proposed, such as ID and FSMism, and discussion to include one should include the other, as these ideas are equally valid.“
– Mark Zurbuchen, Ph.D.
“As a medical practitioner and scientist, I wholeheartedly believe that every theory and hypothesis needs full consideration and explanation with formal ratification by peer review. We have a duty to inform our schools and presumably pasta should form a staple part of our educational diet.“
– Dr. A. Macintyre (UK)
“Letting the religious right teach ID in schools is like letting the Marines teach poetry in advanced combat training. As a scientist, I see these the relevancy between the two sets to be equal. If Kansas is going to mess up like this, the least it can do is not be hypocritical and allow equal time for other alternative “theories” like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice.”
– J. Simon, PhD
III. Dates to Remember:
-September 19: International Talk Like a Pirate Day (post all comments in pirate jargon).
-December-early January: Holiday
Want to preach his gospel? Say a prayer to his noodliness? Comment below.
About Us:
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, while having existed in secrecy for hundreds of years, only recently came into the mainstream when a letter to the Kansas School Board was published in May 2005.
With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents - mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger, um, parts, than theirs.
Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.
Additional Information:
I. The Eight I'd-Really-Rather-You-Didn'ts (or Condiments):
- I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou-behind when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.
- I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
- I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey-Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.
- I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, you can turn off the TV for once and go on a walk for a change.
- I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the idiots.
- I'd really rather you didn't build multi-million dollar churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
- Ending poverty
- Curing diseases
- Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
- I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?
- I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a you know what! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.
“As a scientist, I’d like to say that the currently accepted scientific theory is evolution. But, some competing ideas have been proposed, such as ID and FSMism, and discussion to include one should include the other, as these ideas are equally valid.“
– Mark Zurbuchen, Ph.D.
“As a medical practitioner and scientist, I wholeheartedly believe that every theory and hypothesis needs full consideration and explanation with formal ratification by peer review. We have a duty to inform our schools and presumably pasta should form a staple part of our educational diet.“
– Dr. A. Macintyre (UK)
“Letting the religious right teach ID in schools is like letting the Marines teach poetry in advanced combat training. As a scientist, I see these the relevancy between the two sets to be equal. If Kansas is going to mess up like this, the least it can do is not be hypocritical and allow equal time for other alternative “theories” like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice.”
– J. Simon, PhD
III. Dates to Remember:
-September 19: International Talk Like a Pirate Day (post all comments in pirate jargon).
-December-early January: Holiday
Want to preach his gospel? Say a prayer to his noodliness? Comment below.
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